can you understand me?

i envy people with companions whom they can relate to..
they have best friends, boy friends,close friends or just someone who listens to them..
who understand them..not completely..
who takes time to put their own self into ones foot..

what's the problem that lies in me..?
it's not that i don't tust anyone..
just that,i can't open up myself to people..
i just don't know how to put my feelings into words..

it's complicated how life is for me..
and i know i'm a liar a fraud..
i put up a good act infront of ppl..
they think i'm all smiles,care free life,no worries and a rainbow sensation..
fact is,i'm not..

just think of this..
having a boy friend who doesn't understand you..
who doesn't share his probs with you..
who doesn't even love you..
would you rant ur anger,ur complaints ur worries to him?
will he even be on the same page as you..

picture this situation..
ur friends be in close pals,besties or just casual buddies..
yeah it's true people have different background..
my clique of friends is so complex..
some have really good life,great family and it's so perfect..
i can't just share what's in me..
won't i be spoiling their mood..

or friends with other family probs..
finantial or just family conflicts..
and they themselves are trying hard to pull their lives together..
i don't want to add to their probs..

lastly,your family..
people think you're having one happy family..
fact is,it's already at the wits end..
one by one probs keep adding..
and you can't run away from it..
i want to talk it out to my siblings but i can't..
they are trying their best to cope in this situation..
and i have to be strong too..
mum and dad in a conflict..
dad cause it all and nobody wants to end it..
i can't confide mum coz she's finding ways to solve this mess..

who can i ever turn to but myself and GOD..
and yes,i cry alone and i don't want people to see it..
only GOD knows..
it hurts so bad and nobody can understand..
i wish for a miracle to happen..soon..
and i know that LIFE isn't as simple as it seems..


but im glad i made it here..
every thing happens for a reason..
and I LOVE YOU GOD!!
thank you for giving me hope..
and listening to me,accompany me cry..

50th post

My 50TH POST..
I have been pretty busy with work so I think i shall be on HIATUS..
A lot has happen lately in my life..
And i feel stupid keeping it bottled in my chest..
I fucking don't know where to pour it out...
This blog is DEAD..I gues..

Till then,enjoy the breeze while you can..
It won't go your way for sure..
So never take it forgranted..

the inconvenient truth about men..

GUYS MAY BE FLIRTING AROUND ALL DAY BUT BEFORE THEY GO TO SLEEP, THEY ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THE GIRL THEY TRULY CARE ABOUT..

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-Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

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-Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him

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-GUYS HATE IT WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND OR EX-LOVE INTEREST

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-BOYFRIENDS NEED TO BE REASSURED OFTEN THAT THEY'RE STILL LOVED.

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-DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR GUY FRIENDS TO YOUR BOYFRIEND.

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-Guys get jealous easily.

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-GUYS ARE MORE EMOTIONAL THAN THEY'D LIKE PEOPLE TO THINK.

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-GIVING A GUY A HANGING MESSAGE LIKE "YOU KNOW WHAT?!..UH..NEVERMIND.." WOULD MAKE HIM JUMP TO A CONCLUSION THAT IS FAR FROM WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. AND HE'LL ASSUME HE DID SOMETHING WRONG AND HE'LL OBSESS ABOUT IT TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.

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-Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

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-A USUAL ACT THAT PROVES THE GUY LIKES YOU IS WHEN HE TEASES YOU.

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-GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM IF THEY ARE SERIOUS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS..

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-GUYS THINK WAY TOO MUCH. ONE SMALL THINGA GIRL DOES, EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T NOTICE IT CAN MAKE THE GUY THINK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT MEANT..

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-Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

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-When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

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-IF A GUY STARTS TO TALK SERIOUSLY, LISTEN TO HIM. IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THAT OFTEN, SO WHEN IT DOES, YOU KNOW SOMETHING'S UP.

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-If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

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-When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

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-WHEN A GUY LOOKS AT YOU FOR LONGER THAN A SECOND, HE'S DEFINITELY THINKING SOMETHING.

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-Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

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-A GUY HAS MORE PROBLEMS THAN YOU SEE WITH YOUR NAKED EYES.

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-Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

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-Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

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-GUYS HATE REJECTION, BUT THEY HATE BEING LED ON EVEN MORE

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-If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

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-Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

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-WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO BE WITH YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE..