stupid tears

YES I AM CRYING PROFUSELY..

I don't know why.. Feelings kinda took over my body.
And...I'm just upset..

I think I'm falling in love.. But this time, i'm taking it slow..
really slow to the point I dont know if it will work out..
I'm scared..afraid to lose that someone..
part of me wants him..infact i miss him..and i truly need him..
IM SO DEPENDENT ON HIM...

what effing happen to the independent me..
One who doesn't fall in love easily.
One who moves on and cant wait to carry on with the journey..
One whose strong and can surpass anything in life..

im getting weaker around you and i hate that..
i stil have my doubts..Will you wait for me??

even though we're not really together ...i feel hurt..
those words written on your wall..
what do you mean by goin back in time..?
what do you mean by taking chances last time?

i feel lousy.. like what am i to you?
are you trying to say that if only you had taken those chances last time,
you wouldn end up with me..?

OLALALA

Life has been great so far..

I'm seeing SOMEONE..

I'm dating SOMEONE..

I think I'm falling for him soon.. Like soon..

And I'm scared...



Don't miss me readers=]
Im going to be on Hiatus..
So much to do yet so little time ...

give up or what?

It's been years since I last blogged..

well..Life has been okay lately..
I just cant help it though..

Giving up on someone because you love him so much and you can't take the pain anymore..
It hurts to love someone and not get their love back in return..
Just thinking of him makes me smile even when the world turn their back against me..
Now..It's different...Totally different...

I GAVE UP..!!

and...
YOU..
so much of you helping me..
What kind of a friend are you? Why are you doing this to me?
After all that i have been through, siding you, helping you out..
Is this how you return back my favour..
Because of you, life ain't how it was..
and You cause it all..

:(

Vainport

Saddening isn't it when people are so full of themselves..
Like serious shit..
Can you guys please stop all this crap..

OOHhh..my hair.. my make-up..
my dress..my shoes..

ONE WORD: GROSS..

SUCH FUCKING VAINPORTS!!
you guys should GET A LIFE..
yes i know you guys are gorgeous but beauty is NOT forever..
every mirror you see.you guys need to check yourself out..
Please people..
The mirror will crack i think..

HERS TRULY

WHEN SHE SAYS YOU ARE CRAZY/WEIRD

-SHE IS REALLY CRAZY ABOUT YOU!

WHEN SHE ACTS SHY

-SAY I LOVE YOU

WHEN SHE RUNS AWAY FROM YOU

- CHASE HER

WHEN SHE PUTS HER FACE NEAR YOURS

- KISS HER

WHEN SHE KICKS & PUNCHES

- HOLD HER TIGHT

WHEN SHE IS SILENT

- SHE'S THINKIN OF HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU

WHEN SHE IGNORES YOU

- SHE WANTS ALL YOUR ATTENTION!

WHEN SHE PULLS AWAY

- GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND NEVER LET GO

WHEN YOU SEE HER AT HER WORST

- TELL HER SHE'S BEAUTIFUL

WHEN SHE SCREAMS AT YOU

- TELL HER YOU LOVE HER BUT MEAN IT!!

WHEN YOU SEE HER WALKING
-SNEAK UP BEHIND HER GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND GIVE HER A KISS

WHEN SHE'S SCARED!!!!!!!!!
-HOLD HER AND TELL HER EVERYTHING WILL BE OK CAUSE SHE'S WITH YOU

WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHINGS THE MATTER

- KISS HER AND TELL HER NOT TO WORRY

WHILE SHE HOLDS YOUR HAND

- PLAY WITH HER FINGERS

WHEN SHE SAYS SHE COLD

-SHE WANTS YOU TO HOLD HER TIGHT

can you understand me?

i envy people with companions whom they can relate to..
they have best friends, boy friends,close friends or just someone who listens to them..
who understand them..not completely..
who takes time to put their own self into ones foot..

what's the problem that lies in me..?
it's not that i don't tust anyone..
just that,i can't open up myself to people..
i just don't know how to put my feelings into words..

it's complicated how life is for me..
and i know i'm a liar a fraud..
i put up a good act infront of ppl..
they think i'm all smiles,care free life,no worries and a rainbow sensation..
fact is,i'm not..

just think of this..
having a boy friend who doesn't understand you..
who doesn't share his probs with you..
who doesn't even love you..
would you rant ur anger,ur complaints ur worries to him?
will he even be on the same page as you..

picture this situation..
ur friends be in close pals,besties or just casual buddies..
yeah it's true people have different background..
my clique of friends is so complex..
some have really good life,great family and it's so perfect..
i can't just share what's in me..
won't i be spoiling their mood..

or friends with other family probs..
finantial or just family conflicts..
and they themselves are trying hard to pull their lives together..
i don't want to add to their probs..

lastly,your family..
people think you're having one happy family..
fact is,it's already at the wits end..
one by one probs keep adding..
and you can't run away from it..
i want to talk it out to my siblings but i can't..
they are trying their best to cope in this situation..
and i have to be strong too..
mum and dad in a conflict..
dad cause it all and nobody wants to end it..
i can't confide mum coz she's finding ways to solve this mess..

who can i ever turn to but myself and GOD..
and yes,i cry alone and i don't want people to see it..
only GOD knows..
it hurts so bad and nobody can understand..
i wish for a miracle to happen..soon..
and i know that LIFE isn't as simple as it seems..


but im glad i made it here..
every thing happens for a reason..
and I LOVE YOU GOD!!
thank you for giving me hope..
and listening to me,accompany me cry..

50th post

My 50TH POST..
I have been pretty busy with work so I think i shall be on HIATUS..
A lot has happen lately in my life..
And i feel stupid keeping it bottled in my chest..
I fucking don't know where to pour it out...
This blog is DEAD..I gues..

Till then,enjoy the breeze while you can..
It won't go your way for sure..
So never take it forgranted..