can you understand me?

i envy people with companions whom they can relate to..
they have best friends, boy friends,close friends or just someone who listens to them..
who understand them..not completely..
who takes time to put their own self into ones foot..

what's the problem that lies in me..?
it's not that i don't tust anyone..
just that,i can't open up myself to people..
i just don't know how to put my feelings into words..

it's complicated how life is for me..
and i know i'm a liar a fraud..
i put up a good act infront of ppl..
they think i'm all smiles,care free life,no worries and a rainbow sensation..
fact is,i'm not..

just think of this..
having a boy friend who doesn't understand you..
who doesn't share his probs with you..
who doesn't even love you..
would you rant ur anger,ur complaints ur worries to him?
will he even be on the same page as you..

picture this situation..
ur friends be in close pals,besties or just casual buddies..
yeah it's true people have different background..
my clique of friends is so complex..
some have really good life,great family and it's so perfect..
i can't just share what's in me..
won't i be spoiling their mood..

or friends with other family probs..
finantial or just family conflicts..
and they themselves are trying hard to pull their lives together..
i don't want to add to their probs..

lastly,your family..
people think you're having one happy family..
fact is,it's already at the wits end..
one by one probs keep adding..
and you can't run away from it..
i want to talk it out to my siblings but i can't..
they are trying their best to cope in this situation..
and i have to be strong too..
mum and dad in a conflict..
dad cause it all and nobody wants to end it..
i can't confide mum coz she's finding ways to solve this mess..

who can i ever turn to but myself and GOD..
and yes,i cry alone and i don't want people to see it..
only GOD knows..
it hurts so bad and nobody can understand..
i wish for a miracle to happen..soon..
and i know that LIFE isn't as simple as it seems..


but im glad i made it here..
every thing happens for a reason..
and I LOVE YOU GOD!!
thank you for giving me hope..
and listening to me,accompany me cry..

50th post

My 50TH POST..
I have been pretty busy with work so I think i shall be on HIATUS..
A lot has happen lately in my life..
And i feel stupid keeping it bottled in my chest..
I fucking don't know where to pour it out...
This blog is DEAD..I gues..

Till then,enjoy the breeze while you can..
It won't go your way for sure..
So never take it forgranted..

the inconvenient truth about men..

GUYS MAY BE FLIRTING AROUND ALL DAY BUT BEFORE THEY GO TO SLEEP, THEY ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THE GIRL THEY TRULY CARE ABOUT..

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-Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

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-Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him

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-GUYS HATE IT WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND OR EX-LOVE INTEREST

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-BOYFRIENDS NEED TO BE REASSURED OFTEN THAT THEY'RE STILL LOVED.

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-DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR GUY FRIENDS TO YOUR BOYFRIEND.

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-Guys get jealous easily.

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-GUYS ARE MORE EMOTIONAL THAN THEY'D LIKE PEOPLE TO THINK.

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-GIVING A GUY A HANGING MESSAGE LIKE "YOU KNOW WHAT?!..UH..NEVERMIND.." WOULD MAKE HIM JUMP TO A CONCLUSION THAT IS FAR FROM WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. AND HE'LL ASSUME HE DID SOMETHING WRONG AND HE'LL OBSESS ABOUT IT TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT.

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-Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

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-A USUAL ACT THAT PROVES THE GUY LIKES YOU IS WHEN HE TEASES YOU.

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-GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM IF THEY ARE SERIOUS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS..

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-GUYS THINK WAY TOO MUCH. ONE SMALL THINGA GIRL DOES, EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T NOTICE IT CAN MAKE THE GUY THINK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT MEANT..

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-Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

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-When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

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-IF A GUY STARTS TO TALK SERIOUSLY, LISTEN TO HIM. IT DOESN'T HAPPEN THAT OFTEN, SO WHEN IT DOES, YOU KNOW SOMETHING'S UP.

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-If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

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-When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

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-WHEN A GUY LOOKS AT YOU FOR LONGER THAN A SECOND, HE'S DEFINITELY THINKING SOMETHING.

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-Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

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-A GUY HAS MORE PROBLEMS THAN YOU SEE WITH YOUR NAKED EYES.

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-Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

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-Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

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-GUYS HATE REJECTION, BUT THEY HATE BEING LED ON EVEN MORE

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-If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

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-Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

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-WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO BE WITH YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE..

women

Is this really true?

☆~ When she stares at your mouth = "Kiss her"

☆~ When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you = "Grab her and don't let go"

☆~ When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her and tell her you love her"

☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"

☆~ When she ignores you = "Give her your attention"

☆~ When she pulls away = "Pull her back"

☆~ When you see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"

☆~ When you see her start crying = "Just hold her and don't say a word"

☆~ When you see her walking = "Sneak up and hug her waist from behind"

☆~ When she's scared = "Protect her"

☆~ When she steals your favorite hat = "Let her keep it and sleep with it

for a night"

☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her that everything is okay"

☆~ When she looks at you with doubt = "Back yourself up"

☆~ When she says that she likes you = "SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!!!"

☆~ When she bumps into you = "Bump into her back and make her laugh"

☆~ When she tells you a secret = "Keep it safe and untold"

☆~ When she looks at you in your eyes = "Don't look away until she does"

☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants you to be hers"

☆~ When she reposts this bulletin = "She wants you to read it"

☆~ Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

☆~ When she's mad hug her tight and

don't let go

☆~ When she says she's ok don't believe

it, talk with her because 10yrs later she'll remember you

☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday

to tell her you love her

☆~ Treat her like she's all that matters to you

☆~ Stay up all night with her when

she's sick

☆~ Watch her favorite movie with her or

her favorite show even if you think

it's stupid

☆~ Give her the world

☆~ Let her wear your clothes

☆~ When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

☆~ Let her know she's important, kiss her in the pouring rain

ouch..

it hurts a lot..
it really really hurts..
i just can't take it anymore..
every time i think about it,those bloody tears keep dripping..
drop by drop hitting and crashing my lil fantasies..

it hurts so much..
'we complete each other..my only___ and his only ___.'
those words..
belongs to them..yes them but not me..

and i have indeed given up..
the battle haven't even started..
call me a coward but i know giving up now means getting less hurt later..
i know i'll lose even if i fight..
let this be an eye openner for me to start anew..

but i just can't..and i must learn to..
damn it..
when the distance gets further,i chicken out..
please God,help me..
light my way..

love is in the air

LOVE IS ALWAYS BLIND..DON'T YOU THINK SO??
READ THIS...

dude: I love her more than the air I breath

chick: well im always here for you.

dude: I know.

chick: What's wrong???

dude: I like her so much.

chick: Talk to her.

dude: I don't know. She won't ever like me.

chick: Don't say that. You're amazing.

dude: I just want her to know how I feel.

chick: Then tell her.

dude: She won't like me.

chick: How do you know that?

dude: I can just tell.

chick: Well just tell her.

dude: What should I say?

chick: Tell her how much you like her.

dude: I tell her that daily.

chick: what do you mean?

dude: I'm always with her. I love her.

chick: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me.

dude: Wait. Who do you like?

chick: Oh some boy.

dude: Oh... she won't like me either.

chick: She does.

dude: How do you know?

chick: Because, who wouldn't like you?

dude: You.

chick: You're wrong, I love you.

dude: I love you too.

chick: So are you going to talk to her?

dude: I just did.

uber uber cute..if only he would..
argh..forget it..

meanings..

i find this rather cute but quite true:)

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes U up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.